Good question, huh?!
Let's look at a common challenge of the early stage B2B sales game. We are 100% sure that you are currently enduring or have already endured this in your role as a founder.
Let’s get our nerd on and shine some scientific light on this.
Let's meet Andrea.
Andrea is a 28 yr old first time founder of an early stage B2B oriented SaaS Start-Up. Over the course of the past months she has leveraged her network and landed her first deals. Now she has to make new contacts and needs to reach out to new customers without a prior introduction. Every time she makes the move to pick up her phone and start cold calling, she feels a sense of dread and foreboding. You know all about this kind of discomfort.
This slightly nauseating feeling creeps up on you when you have to pick up your phone and call a complete stranger to speak with her about your product or your passion. You feel the pressure of having to sell, and the need to generate revenue is weighing heavily on your shoulders. For those of you who remember school or university times, you might recognize this restless feeling from the countless times you cleaned your flat or happily carried out the garbage only to avoid starting to work on an assignment or study for an exam. This same kind of avoidance is normal when you’re facing the daunting task of cold-calling. Many questions might be rushing through your mind, just as they are rushing through Andrea’s mind, including:
◦ What if she says no?
◦ What if all I have done and built so far is in vain?
◦ What if nobody cares enough to buy?
◦ What if I've wasted all this time and I’ll fail?
It is absolutely normal and natural to feel these feelings and anxieties. Take it from the seasoned professionals: this discomfort never fully disappears - it's just part of the game!
The big question remains: Why? Why do we feel these anxieties before picking up the phone to call a complete stranger?!
The answer: It’s our need to belong. Yes, still that same need. We've said it before and we'll say it again: the need to belong is one of the main drivers of human behavior. This need to belong is very deeply ingrained in our psyche. It is one of the things we as a species are best at. It is a trait which has enabled the human race to take over the planet: the ability to collaborate, learn from one another and share the work.
The need to belong is one of the main drivers of human behavior. This need to belong is very deeply ingrained in our psyche. It is one of the things we as a species are best at. It is a trait which has enabled the human race to take over the planet: the ability to collaborate, learn from one another and share the work.
According to researcher Mike Leary, who focuses on self awareness and the social construction of self, our 5 core human needs are primarily social in nature. In his work, including the book “Understanding the Mysteries of Human Behavior”, he lists these needs as:
• The need for social acceptance
• The desire to belong to groups
• The need to influence other people
• The need to protect ourselves against harm
• The desire to establish intimate relationships
Remember that for our species, managing these social connections is what it takes to survive and flourish. For the sake of our discussion here we are talking about mentally healthy adults. In this context, it's all about how you fit in with the group, get along, cooperate, get what you need from the group, and ultimately who you find to pair up with for mating (you can read more about this here)
Additionally, whenever this need to belong is threatened, we experience pain which in turn leads to all sorts of irrational behavior.
In fact, exclusion from a group that we belong to can trigger pain centers in our brain very much like physical pain. We explore this idea further in the article “Your customers are lying to you”.
Now that we understand why this is happening, let’s look closer at the challenge and the potential solutions.
Let's remember: Andreas is procrastinating like a pro - instead of calling potential new clients, she works on her company's investor pitch-deck, sets up a new workflow in Asana for her and her team, writes down a few more feature ideas and specifications for her product roadmap…
While it’s very normal that Andrea is putting off cold calling, it is very harmful for the future of her beloved Start-Up. We know that the most important thing to properly validate our business idea is to actually sell and earn cash. Nevertheless, it’s hard to face the music. While she’s busy doing other ‘important’ things, Andrea is avoiding the discomfort of cold calling as much as possible.
But what can she do to overcome this?
The true definition of courage is to take action in spite of your fear.
Andrea is afraid of having to endure an unpleasant conversation, or to pivot to a new problem or solution. In reality, neither Andrea nor anyone else can predict how each new conversation will go. We just need to pick up the phone and start dialing! Easiest way to get started is by blindly picking a number from your CRM, putting it into your phone and hitting the green button BEFORE your brain has the time to catch up with you and direct you towards fear mode. Taking action in spite of the fear that you feel and experiencing first hand that you are still alive after the call is the best way to lower the emotional barrier for the next time around.
Are there more ways to grow a ‘thicker’ skin? Yes, of course. The great and late Kobe Bryant used to say that “everything negative — pressure, challenges — is all an opportunity for me to rise.” His positive attitude towards adversity has been called the Mamba mentality.
In this spirit you can systematically seek out things which are uncomfortable for you to do in order to train your resilience. One of our own Ninja practices is to take cold showers in the morning. We use this as a slow and systematic training to extend our threshold of discomfort. The cold shower might feel scary and it sure as hell is not comfortablereally good for you - mentally and physically. Your body learns to handle a bit of physical stress and dealing with the physical stress actually reduces mental stress levels and leaves you with a calmer mind to start your day.
For beginners it makes sense to start rinsing cold water over just your right leg for 20-30 seconds, then the left leg, then the right arm, followed by the left arm, before you put your entire body under the stream of the ice cold water for as long as you can endure it - minimum 20-30 seconds. During the entire process you want to steady your breathing and continue to breath in and out slowly, steadily and calmly. You may be surprised how much more courageous you get over time when you teach yourself that 1. Discomfort is manageable, if you just keep breathing calmly through the cold, and 2. Discomfort never lasts forever (yes, your body warms up again after!).
You may be surprised how much more courageous you get over time when you teach yourself that 1. Discomfort is manageable and 2. Discomfort never lasts forever.
Note: If you want to explore more of these types of challenges that will help you to grow a thicker skin (some call it a "calloused mind"), we can highly recommend reading the book "Can't hurt me" by David Goggins.
Thanks to practices like this over time it becomes easier to pick up the phone with more ease and less fear, dial a customer number, and go with the flow of every new conversation. Understanding why your problem exists in the first place will bring you a sense of calm and control. You’re not alone in this challenge; in fact, you are having a very normal reaction. By creating an actionable plan and practices to do something about it, you can start moving towards solutions that actually work. We can’t rewire human nature (at least, not in this lifetime), but we can learn to navigate it better!
Enjoy your practice and growth 🪴
